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Friday
Nov042011

Sometimes it's hard to agree with people.

Sometimes, people (Person X) make statements in a meeting, or a conversation, and in general, you agree with those statements. But then those statements are challenged by a third party (Person Y). "That's okay," you think, "Since my opinion is well founded, based upon personal experience and logical thought, theirs will be too. I'm sure they'll argue the point with panache." But they don't. They make wild sweeping statements as to why they are right, which become increasingly more boneheaded and less logical as the discussion wears on. It gets to the point where you start to feel that you shouldn't step in and defend them, because while they have the same opinion as you, they're also an idiot, and you don't want to be associated with their whole shtick. You just want to shake them, and shout "GET OFF MY SIDE, you irrational person you!"

Yeah. It's like that.


-Lucas
Proxy Champignon,
Master of Brainthinking
Tuesday
Oct252011

In which Sunrise infuriates me.

I'm in the break room making a coffee. The tv is playing Sunrise. I overhear the headline: "New guidelines to put in place to force call centre operators to have a specific accent level to be allowed to call Australian."

"Okay," I thought, "this can't be as stupid & discriminatory as what I think it is. At least they won't be stupid enough to put an insulting sub-heading on it."


Really? Alright then.

But surely once the guy throws it to panel discussion, we'll see the pros and cons of the issue, right? Wait, the panel are all women. He just called them his "Angels". Uh oh.


Ms. Armitage viewpoint is "it's not politically correct to say, but it's maddening!" Okay. Care to follow that statement up? No? Nothing on the fact that you're talking about restricting job applicants using something that is not their fault?

Well, I'm sure the next panelist has a background more suited to discussing the ramifications on the telco industry, so we can OH FOR FUCKS SAKE:


Sex and relationships expert?! What?! Why?! What?! (three excellent questions)

She discusses that anyone who calls you is trying to swindle you and having an accent makes that easier. Bravo, lady. You've just linked "having an accent" to "dishonest business practices". Plus, you're American, which means that to Australians, you have an accent. oh bravo. I'd sarcastic slow-clap, but I'm typing.

Look. I've worked in call centers for 7 years. I understand the seemingly inbuilt distrust many Australians have for anyone without an Australian accent (especially if that accent is Indian or Asian). Strangely though, no one seem to have a problem with MY accent. So is it an accent problem, or straight out prejudice? I say this: you get good agents and bad agents across all nationalities and accents. Stopping someone from holding a position because of the way they speak is discrimination, and worse, it's enabling the bad behaviors of the jerks who escalate to a supervisor because they don't want to speak to an Indian.

Well, I'm sure this hard-hitting journalistic juggernaut has another serious subject to discuss:


Yep. Fit over 40 like Brad & Angelina, Lindsay Lohan's Playboy shoot, and her dad getting arrested.

Yeah.

Sunday
Oct232011

Live-tweetin' the dentist (after the fact)

It's kind of strange that my brain has learned to compartmentalise my thoughts into 140-character tweets. But then, if i post them here, i can expound a little. Also, you guys totally want to hear about this. Right? Be that as it may, here are the bullet points from my visit:

(warning, profanity & allcaps)

-I arrive for my 8:45 appointment at 8:40. The dentist arrive sat 8:47. I don't get in until 8:57.

-Dentist arguing with the receptionist about the modem and the network going down and the receptionist wanting to turn it off and on again, and the dentist wanting to call Optus.

-As soon as I sit down in the chair: "Sorry, mate, just having some trouble with the network." me: "Have you tried turning it off and on again?" #bam

-They make you wear Bret-The-Hitman-Hart-style glasses when you're in the chair? You know why? So he doesn't have to look you in the eyes as he TORTURES YOU.

-I'm not sure what worse: having four needles stuck just under your nose, or being a captive audience as your dentist bitches about how the Ferrari online store doesn't offer free shipping on a kid's tricycle with the Ferrari logo.

-OH: "Ferrari sells a pushbike, you know. Only 16 grand, but it's made of carbon fibre, you can pick it up with 1 finger, and I mean you could pick up one or two kilos with one finger, and it's got disc brakes that like, are really good brakes."

-OH: "The shop sells T-shirts too, with the Ferrari logo, but they're just regular T-shirts." Really? They're not made out of carbon fibre? What kind of brakes do they have?

-Things I learned: if you gag when a dentist shoves a piece of metal & rubber down your throat, you're treated like a fractious fucking horse: "Easy, mate, easy, it's okay."

-"Breathe through your nose, okay? I know you can't feel your nose but it's there and you can breath through it." For this he went to UNIVERSITY.

-It's said you can tell a lot about a man by how he treats those weaker than him. You can tell a lot about a dentist by the way he treats his hygienist. If he's snatching things out of her hand, berating her, and making these little *tsk* noises of disapproval, then, yeah.

-YOU ARE POINTING A LASER INTO MY FACE. THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH THE RECEPTIONIST ABOUT HOW YOU DON'T USE THE ADAPTER THAT CAME WITH YOUR MOBILE PHONE TO CHARGE IT MOTHERFUCKER.

-And look! I now have a new ulcer because of how hard you grabbed my lower jaw when you were putting the filling in! It's like a toy surprise!

-"Arghle!" "Oh, does that hurt? *poke*" "Arghle!" "Well, it shouldn't hurt. *pokepoke*" "ARGHLEARGLE." "*poke* Ok, maybe I'll go easier."

-Eyes on what you're doing! WATCH WHAT YOU'RE DOING! Don't gesture with a drill to indicate to someone that you want a coffee when the drill is in my mouth!

-He's singing now. He's singing "Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You". I BEG TO DIFFER.

-Mythbusters spoke the truth. You can ignore pain better if in your head you're screaming "ILLKILLYOUILLKILLYOUILLKILLYOUYOUFUCKERILLKILLYOU" over and over. It's kind of soothing.

-Now he's telling a story of The Girl and The Two Pebbles. Only he keeps repeating parts, and stopping to explain this and losing his place, it's like watching Jeff Goldblum, only you can't move.

-Yes, I gagged the last time you hooked that suction thing onto my cheek. I gagged again this time. This should not surprise you. Furthermore, you think that'd be a reason not to DO IT AGAIN.

-Remember when I told you I had problems flossing and you basically told me that was bullshit and that I should do it anyhow? MY TEETH JUST BROKE YOUR SPECIALLY REINFORCED PERFORATED STRIP WHAT'S UP NOW

-He's still talking about the stupid girl and the stupid pebbles! Now he's explaining how the ending is clever, and how it teaches you a lesson and how the road is a metaphor for life and DID I JUST HEAR YOU SAY YOU GOT THIS OFF A FUCKING CHAIN EMAIL?!?!

-"Nearly done, you've been fantastic, mate." "Really? You've been a circle of hell and I've composed a really snarky blog post about you. Also, I require a change of clothes because I've sweated through these."

-Lucas
Proxy Champignon,
Master of Brainthinking

Thursday
Oct202011

OH NO I'M INITIALLY FRUSTRATED BY ARKHAM CITY

Batman still takes up too much of the screen!
I still suck at stealth!
Cat woman is nothing but cat-based puns and overwrought sexual innuendo!
10 minutes in and again I'm wandering around a room without enemies looking for a damn bullet hole in Detective Mode!

I will push on, but... What if I don't like this game?

Wednesday
Oct192011

So that happened.

So since everyone totally cared and gave me video game advice, I was able to make an informed decision about what I bought yesterday. Actually, no, wait, that's a lie, nobody commented so I just got Batman: Arkham City. And Deus Ex. And Infamous 2*. (though props to Tommy, who said he would lend me Resistance 3 so I didn't have to buy it)

Since I was on a late shift last night, I only got to play Infamous 2 for about 20 minutes when I got home. Cole's voice actor is different, you can run faster, but that makes your jumps and traversal feel more floaty, and they've remodeled everyone. So that's a thing. Also, the game notices how you finished the first game and gives your stats a bump in the same direction (as I played a namby-pamby goodie-goodie, I got a bump to my good stats and my electrical powers).

I hope I like Arkham City. Arkham Asylum was a game I sat down and played twice, then put on a shelf and never got the urge to play again. Maybe it was the slow pace in the early going, but it just didn't grab me. Also, I had that thing where I ended up stuck in an empty room endlessly scanning the walls with Detective Vision looking for the one place I could hit with a batarang so I could, you know, play the rest of the level (I know that was like 5 minutes in, but shut up, it was frustrating).

It also cracks me up that Australia had the game on shelves two days early (because Australia, like Honey Badger, just don't give a fuck), and the guy in the Game store said that they had dozens of people call up and complain that their DLC wasn't working. IT WAS RELEASED EARLY GUYS. Of course you can't activate the DLC yet!

-Lucas
Proxy Champignon,
Master of Brainthinking

* Though thanks to the magic of the JB Hifi Trade-3-Get-It-Free, I only paid actual monies for Infamous 2. I traded Guitar Hero 5 (which I traded after I realized that sitting in dust for months was no good for a plastic guitar & it didn't work anymore), God of War III (because of that damned mini game) & Dead Space 2 (because things kept eating me) for Arkham City and Infamous (because I already beat it a lot), Transformers: War For Cybertron (because I beat it a lot twice & the multiplayer is shallow), and a-quickly-purchased-for-$20-copy-of Star Wars: The Force Unleashed for Deus Ex.